When living with chronic pain and mental health issues, one must remember to forgive oneself. This is something I tend to forget. And I end up apologizing for a lot of what I feel are my “failings”. One of the worst ones for me is housework.
My apartment is cluttered. We have stuff. We don’t have an attic or basement or garage to take care of storage for us. We’re not what I would call horaders, but not everything has its place, so to speak. But we do what we can.
If it wasn’t for hubby, I fear what state this place would be in. He just works, works, works and keeps things going without complaint or issue, but that makes me feel awful. We both work full time, yes, but his is so much more physical than mine. But he comes home and does a load of dishes, then cleans the cats’ box, then moves onto laundry, etc. I come home and flop.
There just aren’t enough spoons in a day, it seems, when you are dealing with pain/mental heath crap all the time.
But, today, I managed to make up for the last four months of near inactivity. I forced myself to do so and I’m very proud of the work I got done today.
- Swept the kitchen floor
- Washed the kitchen floor
- Cleaned the microwave
- Dusted living room and dining room
- Washed all knick knacks and rearranged them
- Cleaned out my indoor water fountain and degunked it
- Consolidated all my knitting stuff into one storage space
- Made dinner — for the whole week
- Tidied another corner of the living room
- Put all laundry in the hamper
- Did some computer troubleshooting
- Washed a few key walls (yes, walls) and light switches
- Dusted some cobwebs away from the corners of the ceiling (yay for Swiffer Dusters on an extension handle for those of us who are vertically challenged!)
All in one day.
I now have no spoons left. I’m wiped. I’m proud, but zonked. This took me a bit more than 3, 3.5 hours. My knees are now very swollen. My feet are throbbing. My back hurts. But mentally, I feel so much better. I had been lost in a funk for the last four months — and today, I feel like I’ve broken out of that a bit.
But…I’m now tempted to curl up and nap until hubby gets home after work today. Or maybe I’ll just watch Carnival Eats until he comes home and I’m craving allllllll the outrageous foods. *flops*